It’s Christmas Eve. The dining room is dead. The knives are clean. The forks are ... not.

Welcome to the slowest shift of the year. One psycho with a reservation and a bloodthirsty agenda flips the whole place into a five-course feast of fear. From the minds of real-life restaurant lifers, this twisted horror-comedy turns the front of house into a battleground, the walk-in into a war zone, and the POS system into a portal to hell.

We’re So Dead is what happens when you mix burnt coffee, table 12’s attitude, and a homicidal maniac with a steak knife. Think Clerks meets Scream with a side of ranch.

Created by Ken MacLaughlin, who spent 15 years waiting for tips and waiting for this moment, alongside Darron Cardosa (The Bitchy Waiter) and producer Michael Sokol, the film is a blood-spattered love letter to every server who’s ever been stiffed, double-sat, or sent back the risotto.

Starring Jenna Kanell (Terrifier) as Ashley, the film packs a killer cast including Cardosa, TikTok phenomenon Ethan Trace, Instagram chef Olivia Tiedemann, and comedian Aaron Goldenberg (Mean Gays).

Funded entirely by the people who’ve actually worked brunch, survived Sunday doubles, and cried in the walk-in, We’re So Dead was crowdfunded on WeFunder by bartenders, line cooks, and front-of-house legends who wanted in on the carnage and the profits.

This Christmas, tip your server … or die trying.